Why I've written a book about being sexually abused as a child

As a small boy I loved to ride my bike, play cricket and football with my friends and to laugh.

I loved my life and I was always smiling. 

When I was just eight years old, I was targeted by a group of well-organised, predatory paedophiles who subjected me to 18-months of horrific sexual abuse. I was too ashamed and scared to tell anyone what had happened ...not my parents, friends or family.

Having survived the trauma of the abuse, I became a teenage alcoholic, and struggled with the challenges of post traumatic stress disorder and sexual anorexia for much of my adult life. 

A number of profound experiences inspired me to explore a variety of healing pathways including conventional trauma therapies for PTSD here in the UK.

And to Spain where I enjoyed an exhilarating month on pilgrimage along the 500-mile Camino to Santiago de Compostela; and on numerous visits to India where I have studied spiritual philosophy, meditated in ashrams, and trekked in the mighty Himalayas.

However, the catalyst for my healing has been the 12 Step programme of Alcoholics Anonymous. Since I joined at age 20, AA has become the foundation to my life, and I have now been sober for the over 25 years.

A Small Boy Smiling is my story of how I’ve overcome my demons to reclaim my smile and learn to love and laugh again as an adult. 

We are all survivors.

Please feel free to contact me if I can help you on your self-healing journey.

You’re not alone,


PS. Travel has played a hugely important role on my spiritual journey. 

Here's a few of my favourite images from my trips to India, Nepal, and along the Camino to Santiago de Compostela I’d like to share with you.

PPS. I'm offering two free chapters of A SmallBoy Smiling for survivors of child sexual abuse and for professional therapists.

Please feel free to choose which best suits your needs. 

A beautifully written, compelling and mesmerising story of triumph over evil and the strength of the human spirit...I couldn’t put it down
— Maddie Kitchen